Puckapalooza
Puckapalooza, or sometimes simply plooza, is the pinnacle of puck hoggery. This mostly annual event gathering puck hogs from around the US and Canada for a few days of hockey, drinking, betting, hockey, poker, and maybe some more hockey. Attendance at a plooza will instantly make you a made man in the PHL242. If this is important to you the you should probably reexamine your priorities. It’s still a damn good time. The plooza box score sheet is a continuance of a pre-PHL242 tradition of documenting success, failures, and ignominy from the degenerate event. Read the summaries below and you'll see what we get up to.
Los Angeles '17
First Period (Prep & NHL100 Event)
Scoring Summary:
Toddick (1) (Amy): Face value tix hookup for 100 level seats
McS (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
CAPS (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
AD (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
Kenny (1) (Unassisted): 4th Palooza attendance
Roseanne (1) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
McS (2) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
Kenny (2) (Unassisted): Baby gift claiming Commish’s unborn daughter for the Canucks.
Kane, P.(1) (Unassisted): Blonde on left arm
Kane, P.(2) (Unassisted): Blonde on right arm
Penalties:
Fate (Game misconduct): Amy’s Exploding Brain
CAPS (Attire Minor): AHL suit [it wasn’t bad at all, but you brought it up, yo]
CAPS (Out-of-Towner Minor): Air BnB choice "Long Beach isn't THAT far..."
NHL (What does this have to do with hockey minor): John Legend? Oh, okay. Were the Zambonis busy?
Second Period (Fan Fair & Skillz Competition)
Scoring Summary:
AD (2) (Toddick): Selling pair of leftover Hoddick tickets to a random pair of guys in town from Finland. Kiitos, fellas!
Neary, R. (1) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
HNIC Punjabi Dudes (1) (Reyno): Bonino! Bonino! Bonino!
Reyno (1) (Unassisted): Rain Man/Spidey Sense recognition skills for ancient NHLers including Borje Salming.
Jagr, J (1) (Unassisted): Just look at the man walking down the hallway, rockstar of hockey
AD (3) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
Reyno (2) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
CAPS (2) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
McS (3) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
Dude (1) (Dude's GF): Using his GF as an in to approach Patrick Roy & Ray Bourque
CBJ Fan (1) (Unassisted): 30+ Blue Jackets Jerseys. Commitment. To. Stupidity.
McGuirre, P. (1) (Unassisted): Less annoying when sauced
Penalties:
Dude (Ungentlemanly conduct but I totally get it minor): Using his GF as an in to approach Patrick Roy & Ray Bourque
AD (Brain fart minor): Loss for words when Bourque complimented the Sakic Jersey
Reyno (Good lookin' out major): Seeing Pavelski & Boo-urns walk right behind us and saying nothing
Uber Driver (Know your customer base major): Forced convos when unsober and half-asleep
Third Period (All Star Game & Departure)
Scoring Summary:
Zeina (1) (AD): Letting CAPS crash in la casa de Commish
Kenny (3) (Unassisted): Convo with Joe Nieuwendyk "I used to hate you..."
CAPS (3) (Toddick, AD): Hustling extra ASG tix & successfully negotiating with pimp w/ bling (do the kids still say that?) outside Staples Center
Penalties:
Criminals (Scumbag major, Game Misconduct, Supplementary Discipline Forthcoming): Breaking & Entering Commish’s home while pregnant wife at home and Commish in train on way home feeling totally worthless in a Sakic jersey.
Religious Zealots (Jesus exists and he wears number 97 major): "Jesus would want you buy these ASG tickets at face value"
Scoring Summary:
Toddick (1) (Amy): Face value tix hookup for 100 level seats
McS (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
CAPS (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
AD (1) (Toddick): NHL100 event
Kenny (1) (Unassisted): 4th Palooza attendance
Roseanne (1) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
McS (2) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
Kenny (2) (Unassisted): Baby gift claiming Commish’s unborn daughter for the Canucks.
Kane, P.(1) (Unassisted): Blonde on left arm
Kane, P.(2) (Unassisted): Blonde on right arm
Penalties:
Fate (Game misconduct): Amy’s Exploding Brain
CAPS (Attire Minor): AHL suit [it wasn’t bad at all, but you brought it up, yo]
CAPS (Out-of-Towner Minor): Air BnB choice "Long Beach isn't THAT far..."
NHL (What does this have to do with hockey minor): John Legend? Oh, okay. Were the Zambonis busy?
Second Period (Fan Fair & Skillz Competition)
Scoring Summary:
AD (2) (Toddick): Selling pair of leftover Hoddick tickets to a random pair of guys in town from Finland. Kiitos, fellas!
Neary, R. (1) (Unassisted): 1st Palooza attendance
HNIC Punjabi Dudes (1) (Reyno): Bonino! Bonino! Bonino!
Reyno (1) (Unassisted): Rain Man/Spidey Sense recognition skills for ancient NHLers including Borje Salming.
Jagr, J (1) (Unassisted): Just look at the man walking down the hallway, rockstar of hockey
AD (3) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
Reyno (2) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
CAPS (2) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
McS (3) (Roy, P. Bouque, R.): have drinks with two HoFers
Dude (1) (Dude's GF): Using his GF as an in to approach Patrick Roy & Ray Bourque
CBJ Fan (1) (Unassisted): 30+ Blue Jackets Jerseys. Commitment. To. Stupidity.
McGuirre, P. (1) (Unassisted): Less annoying when sauced
Penalties:
Dude (Ungentlemanly conduct but I totally get it minor): Using his GF as an in to approach Patrick Roy & Ray Bourque
AD (Brain fart minor): Loss for words when Bourque complimented the Sakic Jersey
Reyno (Good lookin' out major): Seeing Pavelski & Boo-urns walk right behind us and saying nothing
Uber Driver (Know your customer base major): Forced convos when unsober and half-asleep
Third Period (All Star Game & Departure)
Scoring Summary:
Zeina (1) (AD): Letting CAPS crash in la casa de Commish
Kenny (3) (Unassisted): Convo with Joe Nieuwendyk "I used to hate you..."
CAPS (3) (Toddick, AD): Hustling extra ASG tix & successfully negotiating with pimp w/ bling (do the kids still say that?) outside Staples Center
Penalties:
Criminals (Scumbag major, Game Misconduct, Supplementary Discipline Forthcoming): Breaking & Entering Commish’s home while pregnant wife at home and Commish in train on way home feeling totally worthless in a Sakic jersey.
Religious Zealots (Jesus exists and he wears number 97 major): "Jesus would want you buy these ASG tickets at face value"
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